The Private Blog of Mary Morstan
by charjx
Summary: Mary's perspective on events - in a form of her very own private blog posts. [Spoilers for Sherlock Season 3]


**Author's Note: The brilliant characters from Sherlock do not belong to me but to the show's awesome creators. I love the addition of Mary Morstan into Season 3 but it's a pity we don't get to hear her thoughts; partially the reason why I wanted to do this story to take a deeper look into Mary's thoughts and feelings about her relationship with John and his/their relationship with Sherlock. So do let me know your thoughts on this. Comments and constructive criticisms are welcomed! Don't forget to give your support follow/fav it if you like the story. Your support means the world. Enjoy =D**

_8 November _

**The Return of Sherlock Holmes**

What have I gotten myself into? That was the first question I asked myself the moment I had to acknowledge that my fiancé's best friend, Sherlock Holmes, is in fact alive. Yes, I am talking about the same man whom John has lived with for the past two years before Sherlock committed suicide to save John. This is the very same man who actually thinks it was funny to dress as a waiter, adopting an almost comedic French accent, to surprise John and announced that he was...well…not dead. Surprise! Well...I suppose it would have been a tad funny if not given the circumstances of what John has been through.

Why am I saying all this? Because I need to let it out somewhere. John's blog obviously being my inspiration, I decided to set up a private blog of my own. =) No one knows about it, not even John. There are some things that I have to write it down and see it clearly for myself. Writing helps me to gather my thoughts together. I blog whenever he's out with Sherlock, running around solving the unsolvable. It's exciting really, wish I could more involved with their cases, but I'm afraid in doing so would give Sherlock more opportunities to deduce my true nature.

Coming back to Sherlock's surprise I'm-not-dead announcement, I could see the look on John's face. Oh poor John! That look of shock, anger and betrayal all wrapped in one. I know that look too well. I have seen it before on countless faces in my previous line of work…right before I pulled the…I can't write this down just yet. It was something I chose to leave behind eons ago, and then I met John.

As I listened to Sherlock babble his way, showing off his grandest trick ever, how Sherlock Holmes fooled the world into believing he was dead, he was so eager to share with his best friend. Well, at least I think Sherlock considers John his best (_if not only_) friend. As a master of his intellect and skill, I was not surprised with Sherlock but I think he forgot one very important point, John is not like Sherlock. John doesn't give a damn on the how but the why.

Having said that, I can somewhat relate to Sherlock's predicament. He did it for his loved ones. He faked his own death so that his loved ones, namely John in particular, may live a normal life. I think in some ways Sherlock sees himself the way I see myself, a sociopath, a magnet for danger to the people closest to me. That was why I ran, why I chose the life of a clinic nurse; but as fate would have had it, danger seems to like finding a way back to me.

That was also why I find Sherlock so amusing. I cannot help but suppress a smirk, for John's sake, because as much as John is angry with Sherlock, I know he misses the bastard. I mean, come on, the way John threw a hissy fit (_sorry, John, but you did_) because Sherlock didn't clue him on being alive? Okay, I know it's a serious no-no in most cases but John was _actually _jealous of other people knowing! Those two act as if they are practically married. Hmm…perhaps Mrs. Hudson had a point there…

Strangely enough, as I'm typing this down, I don't feel like the third wheel in the relationship. I know John loves me dearly and I love him with all my heart. I also know that he cares for Sherlock deeply despite him trying in vain to convince me that he "does not shave for Sherlock Holmes". I should probably get that made into a shirt for John Xp

The point that I'm trying to make is that I understand how important Sherlock is in John's life. For all the habitual routine life John is currently leading as a clinic doctor, he misses the unpredictable and exhilarating life he was force to leave behind. I still carry that adventurous and devil-may-care attitude with me, but it is not a life that Mary Morstan can provide.

Besides, how could I resist not helping the great detective Sherlock Holmes? I think their bromance is so adorable when one attempts to ignore the other while the other, being gifted with all that deduction prowess at his fingertips, can't even figure a way to win his best friend back. Sighs…What will they do without me?

P.S: The best thing that came out of this reunion? John finally shaved off his mustache! Thank goodness!

_12 August _

**The Wedding**

My wedding day has finally come and gone. With Sherlock around, you can always count on the unexpected happening. I honestly don't know where to begin, so much has happened within the day that is enough to send anyone on a roller coaster ride – I really like it. It's so much better than the typical event where people make a few speeches, hugs, cry their hearts out, don't you think so? I'm sure John will disagree with me on most of these, but these are my picks of the top 3 best and worst moments of my wedding in no particular order.

Top 3 Best Moments

1. I'm pregnant. I can't believe it even when I say it out loud. I'm pregnant with John's child. We are having a baby.

2. Yes, granted that John's ex-Major almost died at our wedding, my life would not be complete without the man I married, John Watson. He means everything to me. I saw John telling Mrs. Hudson the other day how I was the one who saved him from falling into his own abyss after Sherlock was gone, how I picked up the pieces and shoulder his burden together as we pulled through together. The truth is John rescued me from my own hell. As much as I wanted a simple care-free life, I could not fully embrace the living the life of Mary Morstan the clinic nurse. She was too boring! I chose not to look back on my past but I yearned for the adrenaline to course through my veins once more. I'm a junkie. I was about to give up the Morstan life, that is until I met John. My husband (_still feels strangely good calling him that_) has kept me grounded to reality and had me fallen so deeply in love with him and life all over again. He was the key that was missing in Mary Morstan's once hollow life. He says that I'm the best thing that has ever happened to him. I agree. But John Watson is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

3. Aside from John, there is one other person that I'm thankful to have in our lives. Even if Sherlock won't be able to read this, I am so grateful for the support he has been giving us. I know that he personally does not believe in "silly things" like marriage and children but the fact that he has made a vow to protect all three of us…that is something that you do not take lightly from Sherlock Holmes. For good or for bad, Sherlock will always be a part of this family.

Top 3 Worst Moments

1. Being pregnant is a joy but it's my wedding and it's one of those few that I'm ever going to savor really expensive wine. It tastes bloody awful! (

2. That MayFly Man actually crashing our wedding to kill Major Shalto. I believed for a moment that the good Major was going to give up and take off the belt. Thank goodness nobody died.

3. "Mary, lots of love, poppet. Oodles of love and heaps of good wishes from Cam. Wish your family could have seen this." This telegram message that Sherlock read out earlier somehow still bothers me. I checked with John and neither of us have any friends or relatives named Cam. And no one addresses me as poppet. Maybe I'm over imagining things with John's previous abduction, the cryptic coded messages. What are the odds that it's not Cam but C.A.M? I shudder to think at the possibility. No, it cannot be…

You're thinking too much Mrs. Watson. Now log off and go back to preparing dinner.

_13 September_

**Untitled**

He has finally emerged. It has to end.

I hope John never has to find out what I am about to do.

I love you John.

Forgive me.


End file.
